Half An Hour
by themarchgirl
Summary: A short period of time at the Shays' on a Saturday, in which Sam is craving meat, Carly has a headache, Freddie is freaked out and Spencer may at last have lost his mind. Warning: Extreme randomness ahead. Established Creddie relationship, if you squint.


**A/N: **OK, this is a really random oneshot. I hope you like it.

'You got any meat?'

'No.'

'Not any at all?'

'Nope.'

'Not even any ham for me?'

'Sam, I said no!' Carly glared at Sam, who was sitting on her kitchen counter pestering her for protein while she was trying to get rid of this darn headache.

'OK, OK, sorry.' Sam held up her hands innocently. 'Carls?'

'What?'

'Where did the meat _go_?'

'Sam!'

'Spencer goes shopping on Thursdays, and it's Saturday. Who ate all of it?'

Carly gave Sam a very meaningful look.

'Oh yeah,' Sam said with a dreamy smile. 'I ate it.'

'Sam, would you go next door and ask Mrs Benson for that pain relief medicine she has?'

'No! I don't want to go in to that crazy-hole.'

'_Sam_.'

'When you give me meat I will get it.'

'Well, in case you weren't listening, there is none!'

'You're supposed to feed me!'

'It's not my fault your mother managed to give herself a concussion with a stuffed animal!'

'It had a battery inside it!'

'Yeah, well, I didn't put it there!'

'Hey, hey, girls, calm down!' Spencer arrived conveniently, wielding two paintbrushes. 'Carly, do your legs work?'

'Yes.'

'Then go and get the tablets for yourself.'

'OK.' Carly sighed tragically and slouched out of the apartment.

'Now, Sam, here's twenty dollars,' Spencer said, holding out the twenty-dollar note. 'Go get – wait!' Sam had grabbed the money and sprinted out of the room. Spencer hurried to the door. 'Grab some meat and leave some for us!'

'Good luck with that,' Freddie said as he passed under Spencer's arm.

'Hey, Freddie. Carly with your mom?'

'Yeah. She has a really bad headache, so my mom is taking care of her.' Freddie sprawled on the couch.

'OK. Wanna see my latest sculpture?'

'Sure.'

Spencer led Freddie into his bedroom and in front of the clay mound.

'Ta-daaaa!' Spencer added jazz hands.

'It's, uh, great, Spencer. Um, what is it, exactly?'

'It is a model of that red rock thingy in Australia!'

'Uluru?'

'Yeah!'

'So, are you going to paint it red?' Freddie asked, squatting down and inspecting the bottom.

'No. I am painting it…..lime green!' Freddie stood up slowly and regarded Spencer warily.

'Lime green? As in bright, bright green? Like _neon_ green?'

'Uh-huh!'

'Why?' Freddie raised an eyebrow.

'Because I want it…to be…different….' Spencer looked very upset all of a sudden. 'You….you…don't like it…..'

'No, no, it's great, I just – '

'Just what? You just think it's weird? Art is _supposed to be weird, _Fredward.' Spencer grabbed Freddie's collar and brought their faces very close together. He studied Freddie's very confused eyes.

'You were not born with…_the gift_.' Spencer whispered.

'Um, OK, well, I never really considered art as a career option for me,' Freddie explained, his voice getting more and more high-pitched with every word. 'Spencer, put me down!'

'Yes, you have not got _the gift_…'

Freddie wrenched himself from Spencer's grasp and ran into the kitchen, hiding behind the island. Carly had returned, and she was staring at him in bewilderment.

'Why are you hiding?'

'Your brother is scaring me,' Freddie hissed. 'He kept saying I haven't got 'the gift' or something, and it was weird.'

Carly frowned. 'He's probably just worried about this sculpture he's making.'

'Carly. He's making a lime green clay model of Uluru.'

'Really?'

Freddie nodded. 'He got really upset when I asked him why.'

'I'll talk to him later.'

'How's your headache?' Freddie asked, getting up and sitting down next to her. He pressed the back of his hand to her forehead.

'Better, thanks. Your mom's medicine is really effective.' Carly smiled at him.

'Yeah. I'm sure my mom would let you borrow some, if you get headaches a lot.' Freddie told her.

'You sure?'

'Yeah, I don't take pills. My mom is worried I'll choke and die.' Carly giggled.

'Do you want some juice or something?'

'No, I'm OK. Is Sam back yet?'

'No, she just texted me and told me she wouldn't be back for a while.' Carly said, taking out her phone. 'She's visiting her mom in hospital.'

'How did her mom give herself a concussion with a stuffed animal?'

'Sam said it had a battery in it.' Carly explained.

'That wouldn't cause a concussion,' Freddie said. 'You'd have to hit yourself pretty hard on the head. And who does that anyway?'

Carly shrugged. 'Sam says her mom had work on the day she knocked herself out. Maybe she hated her job.'

'Where does she work?'

'The library.'

'Hmm. I guess that it kind of boring.' Freddie checked his watch. 'Oh, I gotta go. I'll see you later.' He pecked her on the cheek and walked out.

'Spencer!'

'Yeah?'

'Why did you freak him out?'

'He made fun of my artistic imagination!'

'Everyone will go blind looking at it!'

'Well, at least they'll see it!'

Carly rolled her eyes and her phone beeped.

BE BACK IN 5 MINS. AM BRINGING MEAT. S x

Carly smiled and went to the sink to get herself a glass of water. She sipped it slowly, not wanting to bring back her headache.

She wondered vaguely what Sam meant by bringing meat.

Right on time, Sam opened the door and flung herself into the nearest chair.

'I'm back!'

'Give us the meat,' Carly said. Sam produced a small white package, which Carly opened slowly.

'Sam!'

'That was all they had!'

'No, this is what you wouldn't eat!'

'You're lucky I brought that back. I was offered something a _little_ lower down.'

'Well, you can eat those!'

'Can you?'

'Sam!'

'Whoa, guys, calm down. Man, you two are shouting a lot today.' Spencer arrived conveniently for the second time in half an hour, this time brandishing a bag of clay.

'Sam bought a load of meat and then ate everything except for rabbit brain!' Carly yelled.

'Oh no,' Spencer said. 'I am extremely allergic to brains.'

'My cat isn't. See you.' Sam got up and left.

'Pasta for dinner?' Carly asked.

'Pasta. And you're making it.'

'Spencer!'

'I'm busy. Plus your spaghetti is the greatest.'

'Ugh, fine. I think my headache's coming back.' Carly rubbed her temple with her index finger and opened the door. 'Mrs Benson!'

**A/N: **I know this isn't very long, but it is kind of funny. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. Or I will recruit the Daleks to come and find you and EXTERMINATE you. Just kidding, but please let me know what you think.


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